her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
