I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
