flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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