Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
