I looked at my own cervix.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
