So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
