There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
