ya dads aren't the best wingmen
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
