So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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