Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
