paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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