i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
