What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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