the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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