never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
