ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
