in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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