I look better un-naked...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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