i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
