How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
