I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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