But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Send help, water and tortillas.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
