mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
