so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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