If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
