So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize