There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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