it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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