Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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