You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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