hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
