Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
