she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize