Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
