spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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