Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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