I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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