you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
