Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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