Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
