I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
