Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
