Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
