next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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