In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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