You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
