It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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