I swear she didn't look like that last week.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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