Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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