Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
