She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
