i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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