I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
handjob tips. give me some.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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