No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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