remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
