put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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