Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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